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beanstalk_simsJust a rant about a debate I'm having with someone on the subject of pregnancy, sex and mental health. Feel free to ignore if you want. I just needed to vent somewhere about it. I should also probably warn you that I am swearing a fair bit in this. I don't mean to, but I am really, really annoyed.
So the other person's argument is that no one should have sex before they are 20, anyone who does is a slut, regardless of the circumstances, and that teenagers are completely and utterly clueless when it comes to sex and relationships.
I can live with someone believing that, because it's not an uncommon view. Sure, it's ignorant, but I can't exactly change the way someone thinks. I was about to scroll away and ignore the person, but then something else they'd mentioned in their argument caught my eye and infuriated me.
The person had said that if you used two methods of birth control, you were pretty much safe from pregnancy, and if you got pregnant anyway, it's because you were incompetent and didn't use your birth control properly. They then went on to say that persons on anti-depressants are crazy and should not be having kids. That they are fucked up, and shouldn't be having sex when they could accidentally bring children into the world, and they are unfit to be parents.
Honestly, it was that last part that pissed me off enough to take notice. But I won't discuss that first.
Firstly, no form of contraceptive is 100% effective, even when combined, and I think it's not good that someone believes that a condom and a pill can protect you completely. Sure, the chances are a hell of a lot slimmer, but there is no foolproof way of having sex without the risk of pregnancy. 2 in 200 women using both the pill and condoms will fall pregnant every year or so, according to the leaflets the district nurse gave me. What bothers me, is that the person also believes that you used the contraceptives wrong if you do fall pregnant.
That's not true. Accidents happen, even when every precaution is taken. And who's to say that becoming a parent at a young age is a bad thing - it is largely based on circumstance. Sure, I don't want kids as I'm only nineteen, but my parents had me really young and I was raised pretty well, or so I like to think. Just because someone falls pregnant really young, and by accident, doesn't mean they are a slut or a terrible parent. And it really bothers me that someone is narrow-minded enough to think like that.
Secondly, the anti-depressants jibe. I really, really got angry about that. As a few of you know, I've been on anti-depressants since late October, and to be labelled as "crazy" *just* because I'm on these meds infuriates me. I'm not a bad person, I can take care of myself, and I function like every so-called "normal" person. To say that people who have been through situations where they need anti-depressants should be denied the right to have a family is really ignorant, and I can't help but feel furious that someone thinks like that.
Like I said, I could live with the other assumptions they made. But it seems that this narrow-minded person really is clueless about sex and relationships, as well as mental illnesses. I would have moved past it had the person saying it been really young, but they were 21 and just graduating university. They claimed to be smart.
It just really bothers me that education on sex, and on mental illnesses, is still not good enough. That it's still all treated as taboo. My parents never gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, they were too embarrassed. I don't remember where I learnt the facts of life from, but it certainly wasn't them.
As for the anti-depressants thing, it was only once I had told relatives I had depression and were on the tablets that several of them admitted they had been, too. Even my own mother admitted it, and I hadn't know that she'd been on them before. It bothers me that we're still living like depression is something to be ashamed of.
Just my thoughts on things. I'm not angry at the rather ignorant person raising those points, more at the fact that they can believe in them. That they have never been told different.
If you have any opinions on it, I wouldn't mind hearing them. Again, sorry for being so frustrated and furious.
So the other person's argument is that no one should have sex before they are 20, anyone who does is a slut, regardless of the circumstances, and that teenagers are completely and utterly clueless when it comes to sex and relationships.
I can live with someone believing that, because it's not an uncommon view. Sure, it's ignorant, but I can't exactly change the way someone thinks. I was about to scroll away and ignore the person, but then something else they'd mentioned in their argument caught my eye and infuriated me.
The person had said that if you used two methods of birth control, you were pretty much safe from pregnancy, and if you got pregnant anyway, it's because you were incompetent and didn't use your birth control properly. They then went on to say that persons on anti-depressants are crazy and should not be having kids. That they are fucked up, and shouldn't be having sex when they could accidentally bring children into the world, and they are unfit to be parents.
Honestly, it was that last part that pissed me off enough to take notice. But I won't discuss that first.
Firstly, no form of contraceptive is 100% effective, even when combined, and I think it's not good that someone believes that a condom and a pill can protect you completely. Sure, the chances are a hell of a lot slimmer, but there is no foolproof way of having sex without the risk of pregnancy. 2 in 200 women using both the pill and condoms will fall pregnant every year or so, according to the leaflets the district nurse gave me. What bothers me, is that the person also believes that you used the contraceptives wrong if you do fall pregnant.
That's not true. Accidents happen, even when every precaution is taken. And who's to say that becoming a parent at a young age is a bad thing - it is largely based on circumstance. Sure, I don't want kids as I'm only nineteen, but my parents had me really young and I was raised pretty well, or so I like to think. Just because someone falls pregnant really young, and by accident, doesn't mean they are a slut or a terrible parent. And it really bothers me that someone is narrow-minded enough to think like that.
Secondly, the anti-depressants jibe. I really, really got angry about that. As a few of you know, I've been on anti-depressants since late October, and to be labelled as "crazy" *just* because I'm on these meds infuriates me. I'm not a bad person, I can take care of myself, and I function like every so-called "normal" person. To say that people who have been through situations where they need anti-depressants should be denied the right to have a family is really ignorant, and I can't help but feel furious that someone thinks like that.
Like I said, I could live with the other assumptions they made. But it seems that this narrow-minded person really is clueless about sex and relationships, as well as mental illnesses. I would have moved past it had the person saying it been really young, but they were 21 and just graduating university. They claimed to be smart.
It just really bothers me that education on sex, and on mental illnesses, is still not good enough. That it's still all treated as taboo. My parents never gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, they were too embarrassed. I don't remember where I learnt the facts of life from, but it certainly wasn't them.
As for the anti-depressants thing, it was only once I had told relatives I had depression and were on the tablets that several of them admitted they had been, too. Even my own mother admitted it, and I hadn't know that she'd been on them before. It bothers me that we're still living like depression is something to be ashamed of.
Just my thoughts on things. I'm not angry at the rather ignorant person raising those points, more at the fact that they can believe in them. That they have never been told different.
If you have any opinions on it, I wouldn't mind hearing them. Again, sorry for being so frustrated and furious.
